Ian, I'm one of those who, because I skipped a grade, enjoyed always being the youngest in the group. Somehow, by some mysterious and speedy process, I'm now 74 and usually the oldest. I had a bad fall recently and feel age in my slowly-healing bones. So I smile to read you - how old are you anyway, 45?! - musing about old age. You've got a way to go, grasshopper. What helps me contemplate aging are my older friends - two women who at 96 are vibrant and energetic, one busy writing the second book of her life story (from 1952 to the present), the other, still a redhead, filling her calendar with cultural events. Ron who discovered writing at 89, wrote his first book at 90 and sends out a weekly Substack at 92. These are positive people who've been lucky in the health lottery, have enough funds to sustain themselves, and live in Canada with universal health care, all of which make aging much easier. Even if you, Ian, do nothing more than produce the fabulous and wise "John and Paul," you have made the world a better place. You can take it easy from now on.
We are remembered by what we leave behind. It is remarkable that in 1945 over 70% of the population was considered working class with barely an examination certificate between them. Now it is approaching 50% who graduate, and 70% are considered middle class, all in two generations. I am aware that sociologists dispute the causes of these shifts but the evidence is before our eyes. Most middle class people now copy the upper classes in ensuring their children get a good education, help them buy property when they need it, encourage them to take risks by providing capital if it is necessary. The worst part of aging is the knowledge that one day you will leave all this behind. With luck, and some of my older friends had it, they saw their great grandchildren born before they left. The only advice worth offering to the younger generation is to make sure your pension income is at least 75% of your retirement salary and that, in many cases, they will live until they are 100.
“The worst part of aging is the knowledge that one day you will leave all this behind.” Yes. It will be hard to say goodbye.
I’m 52 and I think I’m wiser than I was in my 20s, in the sense that I believe I have growing clarity about what is important and what is not. We tend to mistake our passions for our identity. And the empathy, the simple awareness of others, that can come from life kicking you in the teeth is worth the pain. Maybe that’s easy for me to say because I have my health, I’m lucky that way, but I wouldn’t go back.
#13 is the absolute worst. The other day (i.e., sometime in the last 20 years) I looked up a teacher I'd had a crush on in 8th grade, only to be confronted with the face of a 75, 80 year old woman. I'm not sure what I reasonably expected, lol.
Loved it, smiling in recognition all the way through, listening to Ellington (Apple Classical has a good recording) because, alas, I’m on the wrong side of a rather large body of water to be able to attend your live performance. Keep up the brilliant work, Ian.
This really struck a nerve with me. Mostly or entirely owing to the genetic lottery, well into middle age I am routinely assumed to be much younger than I am. I understand that this is a great position to in, professionally and otherwise. But when people are genuinely shocked to learn your *actual* age, it’s kind of unsettling. While I don’t think it’s intended this way, the message is basically “I can’t believe you’re THAT OLD,” so you end up feeling pretty damn old.
I'm 60. Old enough to have lived through a few generational political/cultural shifts; wise enough to know that more will be on the way; and arrogant enough to believe that some of the old ways were better. It's a wisdom I didn't have when I was 25.
I am 87 and remember being 60 and wondering what all the fuss about getting old was about. Then one day at the allotment when I was 63 I had the first intimation of a loss of energy. Instead of being able to work until the light faded I had to leave because I had no energy left.
Absolutely bloody brilliant. I’m now trying to adapt, elegantly and creatively, between the opposing forces of a mind saying ‘carpe diem! Cadogan Hall! London!’ and a body that’s been told to take it easi(er).
And I’m not sure postponing the decision will help either, given that I won’t be any younger tomorrow.
Yes, absolutely. Especially the sense of “I’m young, I’m young, whoops, I’m old” with no decent transition. But I would say that in my case, having children made a difference. I felt comfortable being a thirty-something cool dude
and then children came and suddenly I had to keep something more important than a potted plant alive.
More than anything, I feel that contributes to my “whoops now I’m a real grownup” feeling.
A wealth of useful observations … except for #23, which is clearly written by someone who is still in thrall to the idea of achievement. You’ll age out of this one too, I suspect.
Ian, I'm one of those who, because I skipped a grade, enjoyed always being the youngest in the group. Somehow, by some mysterious and speedy process, I'm now 74 and usually the oldest. I had a bad fall recently and feel age in my slowly-healing bones. So I smile to read you - how old are you anyway, 45?! - musing about old age. You've got a way to go, grasshopper. What helps me contemplate aging are my older friends - two women who at 96 are vibrant and energetic, one busy writing the second book of her life story (from 1952 to the present), the other, still a redhead, filling her calendar with cultural events. Ron who discovered writing at 89, wrote his first book at 90 and sends out a weekly Substack at 92. These are positive people who've been lucky in the health lottery, have enough funds to sustain themselves, and live in Canada with universal health care, all of which make aging much easier. Even if you, Ian, do nothing more than produce the fabulous and wise "John and Paul," you have made the world a better place. You can take it easy from now on.
Very kind, thank you, and get well soon.
We are remembered by what we leave behind. It is remarkable that in 1945 over 70% of the population was considered working class with barely an examination certificate between them. Now it is approaching 50% who graduate, and 70% are considered middle class, all in two generations. I am aware that sociologists dispute the causes of these shifts but the evidence is before our eyes. Most middle class people now copy the upper classes in ensuring their children get a good education, help them buy property when they need it, encourage them to take risks by providing capital if it is necessary. The worst part of aging is the knowledge that one day you will leave all this behind. With luck, and some of my older friends had it, they saw their great grandchildren born before they left. The only advice worth offering to the younger generation is to make sure your pension income is at least 75% of your retirement salary and that, in many cases, they will live until they are 100.
“The worst part of aging is the knowledge that one day you will leave all this behind.” Yes. It will be hard to say goodbye.
I’m 52 and I think I’m wiser than I was in my 20s, in the sense that I believe I have growing clarity about what is important and what is not. We tend to mistake our passions for our identity. And the empathy, the simple awareness of others, that can come from life kicking you in the teeth is worth the pain. Maybe that’s easy for me to say because I have my health, I’m lucky that way, but I wouldn’t go back.
This is great and depressing, thanks. 15 is 🤯
#13 is the absolute worst. The other day (i.e., sometime in the last 20 years) I looked up a teacher I'd had a crush on in 8th grade, only to be confronted with the face of a 75, 80 year old woman. I'm not sure what I reasonably expected, lol.
Impeccable once again, Ian. I now feel rather more positive about it all.
Good!
Good \ brutal
Loved it, smiling in recognition all the way through, listening to Ellington (Apple Classical has a good recording) because, alas, I’m on the wrong side of a rather large body of water to be able to attend your live performance. Keep up the brilliant work, Ian.
Thank you
This really struck a nerve with me. Mostly or entirely owing to the genetic lottery, well into middle age I am routinely assumed to be much younger than I am. I understand that this is a great position to in, professionally and otherwise. But when people are genuinely shocked to learn your *actual* age, it’s kind of unsettling. While I don’t think it’s intended this way, the message is basically “I can’t believe you’re THAT OLD,” so you end up feeling pretty damn old.
😂
I'm 60. Old enough to have lived through a few generational political/cultural shifts; wise enough to know that more will be on the way; and arrogant enough to believe that some of the old ways were better. It's a wisdom I didn't have when I was 25.
I am 87 and remember being 60 and wondering what all the fuss about getting old was about. Then one day at the allotment when I was 63 I had the first intimation of a loss of energy. Instead of being able to work until the light faded I had to leave because I had no energy left.
Absolutely bloody brilliant. I’m now trying to adapt, elegantly and creatively, between the opposing forces of a mind saying ‘carpe diem! Cadogan Hall! London!’ and a body that’s been told to take it easi(er).
And I’m not sure postponing the decision will help either, given that I won’t be any younger tomorrow.
Yes, absolutely. Especially the sense of “I’m young, I’m young, whoops, I’m old” with no decent transition. But I would say that in my case, having children made a difference. I felt comfortable being a thirty-something cool dude
and then children came and suddenly I had to keep something more important than a potted plant alive.
More than anything, I feel that contributes to my “whoops now I’m a real grownup” feeling.
A wealth of useful observations … except for #23, which is clearly written by someone who is still in thrall to the idea of achievement. You’ll age out of this one too, I suspect.
Enjoyed this very much. #5 seems to be quoting from the talking heads song “once in a lifetime”
Was this deliberate?